the dream house

As a little girl, I dreamt of the perfect home – a tiny cottage with lots of trees; checked red curtains, red tiles, a swing in the yard, a creek in the back yard.

As a teenager, the image changed a little bit – the swing disappeared, the creek remained, the red curtains disappeared, the red tiles remained – there were additions like the huge bookshelf, the rajastani paintings, the colorful rugs in the living room.

As every day passed – my dream house started living a life of its own. Every corner, every nook was carefully decorated – not with careful consideration or precise planning, but with a wild enthusiasm that I couldn’t understand myself.

A few more years and life brought showed me colors and shades I had never expected to see. There was love and friendship, betrayal and faith, hope and cynicism, ambition and loneliness, compromise and struggle. Life changed and so did my priorities. The dream did not change, but it did get blurred.

Yesterday the dream took form – and it doesnt look anything like the original dream. I bought an apartment. As I write this, I am too scared to even believe that this is true. I have signed the agreement – the loan is still in processing and the registration is supposed to happen in 2 weeks. Somehow I keep waiting for things to go wrong – that way if it does go wrong, it wont hurt that badly. My friends are all happy and congragulating me, but I seem to be unable to laugh. I have been waiting for this all my life and I seem to be totally blank now. It is weird.

I am dreading the next two weeks. I guess I will only feel okay when everything is done – at least I hope so. Till then, I will hold on the dream and convince myself that reality is a month away.

17 comments for “the dream house

  1. May 31, 2005 at 6:48 pm

    “I have been waiting for this all my life and I seem to be totally blank now. It is weird.”
    I guess when you’ve wanted something all your life and it finally seems to be taking shape,you feel kinda numb and almost wonder why that thing meant that much to you..ok, i dont think i’m making much sense but i just wanted to say,
    a)congrats on having made one dream come true, and here’s to many more dreams materialising! 🙂
    b)dont worry too much,everything will go well.
    keep the faith!:)

    • June 1, 2005 at 6:29 am

      Thank you.

      Keeping fingers crossed:-)

  2. May 31, 2005 at 10:50 pm

    Congratulations on the new house, now make it the ‘home’ you always wanted to live in 🙂

  3. May 31, 2005 at 11:38 pm

    Congratulations!!!

  4. June 1, 2005 at 1:53 am

    Cool … congrats.
    where is this apartment and how much are u payin up ???

    Y worry soo much when u have this one u can modify it to be like in ur dream 🙂

    • June 1, 2005 at 6:36 am

      C. V Raman Nagar. 20 lakhs.

      Its not worry about whether I can modify it – its just that I cant really belive that I actually own it:-) Haved a lot of missed chances before, so find it hard to believe that this time its actually worked out.

      • June 1, 2005 at 11:05 am

        Sure you are very serious abt this frm wat you have written. You really must be smiling a lot these days 🙂

  5. June 2, 2005 at 4:12 am

    🙂

  6. June 6, 2005 at 8:34 am

    This is awesome babe! 🙂

  7. June 7, 2005 at 2:22 pm

    I don’t know if you are felling this way because the feeling hasnt sunk in really. Speaking for myself, Kumar we felt the same way.

    I dreamt a lot about my new house. How would it look with the furniture put in? What colours we would use?
    When it was time to move in – the day just came without much ado. Think my kin were more excited than we were.
    We were worried about why the building was still in the shape it was. We had take time-off from work and chase the plumber, the electrician, the touchtel phone guy, everyone.. cracked titles, flooded apartment…we took in a lot of stress. Try finding someone to drill into your wall to fix nails…

    One year at our own flat now. We have begun enjoying oursleves now. We have still not added colours to our walls. But, we have in our weekends spent time creating or buying small things for our home.

    I still remember the day my dad booked a house and the day we moved in. I still remember the day and date. We were really exicted. My dad worried a lot. I guess he would have felt the same way we are felling today. Lots of aprehensions. Probably he was content – buying a flat in Mumbai after all is no joke (at least it was that way 20 yrs ago).

    I think we need to be kids again – forget the EMI. Things will happen. I still dream of a small house built with my layout (which I have in my head), red or blue slopping roof, garden et al. Let on dream on… someday we will be there…

    U must come home. The roads are bad .. I keep talking abt getting away – but the reality is I love it dearly as I do my parent’s home in mumbai. This place will soon have several memories attached it.

    • June 14, 2005 at 4:53 am

      Forget the roads. Your place is awesome. I really enjoyed staying with you those couple of days when I came to Bangalore. You have kept your house so beautifully! And the house has a very good ‘feel’ about it.

      MIC, next time I’m in Bangalore I’m gonna check out your place too…I’m as excited as you are about it! 🙂

      • June 14, 2005 at 2:41 pm

        We will have an all girls party at my place. That will be fun:-)

    • June 14, 2005 at 2:40 pm

      Yeah, I have been meaning to come to your place. Smits tells me its really nice. And I know you must be really proud about it. I think it must be one of those little girly things – to dream and decorate each and every nook and corner.

      Yesterday somebody told me that I should have waited and bought a better flat (as in bought it from a better builder). Amd somehow that hurt badly. I know she meant well – its just that this is something I have really wanted from a long long time, and I have already fallen in love with it – even though at the moment its just cement and bricks. The smallest criticism hurts:-)

      But you are right. This place is my own. A place where I am going to breathe and exist and live..make memories of good and bad times..my own little dream come true – imperfect, but alive. 🙂

  8. June 11, 2005 at 6:21 am

    I am really not sure how I came here but insomnia leads to some unlimited lj lurking. Can I add you?

    • June 13, 2005 at 3:01 am

      Sure, go ahead:) Adding you too.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *