I have always maintained that people working in the same team should not live together. Now I am not even sure that people working in the same team can be friends – esp if there are at different levels in the ‘supposed team hierarchy’.
G and me have got along pretty well for some months now. We have laughed, cribbed and teased each other – all in good spirit. He is been invited home for dinner and booze sessions; also on an out-of-station trip. Oh we are not at all the ‘Bare your heart’kind of friends – far from it – but we were the comfy, casual kind of friends. Or so I thought. Looks like I was wrong.
During the past few days, G was acting weird – making a few digs at my PM skills. Moron that I was, I assumed that it was casual teasing, even though I didnt feel good abt it. And then last week, there was a team issue involving another colleague – a close friend of G’s. I had nothing to do with it, but due to some weird circumstances, it looked as if I was involved. I spoke to the colleague, cleared the air, and assumed that things were okay. The next day I spoke to G for some project related work, and got a very angry and aloof reply. I went on chat and asked him what was wrong, and he gave me a vague reply about he is angry with whole establishment. At this point, it still did not occur to me that he could be blaming me for this whole mess. I just asked him to speak to our manager if there was an issue.
After that we have been polite to each other, but maintained an aloof distance. Oh, I could talk to him again, but I dont really think I need to. Why should I when a person is so ready to make a judgement, even before giving me a chance to explain. I could easily have handled a confrontation, but I am not sure I want to go justifying myself to someone who is not interested.
Most of all I am angry at myself, for letting it matter to me. G has zero percent impact on my life, so there is no need for this whole drama. Professional and personal lives should be separate compartments, and I guess this was a good a lesson I could get.
Update: I have still not had a conversation with G, but I got insights from another colleague. Looks like I was in the wrong – for something that I did not even dream about; it was totally unintentional but seems I got a few things wrong. I still wish G had talked to me about it, but its easier now, because at least I know there is something I need to work on. G will never understand, and I dont intend explaining – things will never be the same, but work and life will carry on.